May 28 2009
I was told to update…
more like demanded to update…
I draw in really bizarre people into my life. Is this a direct reflection of ME? I didn’t think so either.
Ben and I are looking for a bed frame. If you didn’t know this already, I SCORE at craigslist shopping. I get the best deals! I found a queen bed frame that is the style and color that we are looking for, and the best part is it comes with a queen boxspring and mattress! No! Of course I would never sleep on a previously owned strangers bed, but my guests will!! The price was as if I was STEALING it from these people, I basically got it for free! F.R.E.E.
The gentleman that I was texting about this said he’d deliver AND INSTALL for $15. I was a little skeptical but I don’t have a truck to get it, nor a man to carry it in and assemble it. (Ben was at work) and my window of opportunity was small, so I agreed.
After we set up that he would arrive at 1:30, I realized that I would be home alone and started having all these irrational thoughts that he might murder me and steal all of my stuff. We just bought a new TV the day before and I was kicking myself for NOT getting the theft warranty that they always try to make you get but you never need…BUT I MAY HAVE NEEDED IT NOW more than any!! I have a sick mind and started imagining that he’s like the Craigslist killer…the medical student who killed that girl…and I texted Ben and told him I was worried and if I called HE HAD TO ANSWER! And even worse, I opted out of having my brother help me pick this up because his schedule didn’t work so I had this guy deliver it…OR STEAL MY STUFF!! I was freaking out!
I took my bed down for easier and faster install of the new bed frame. I flipped my rather heavy mattress on its side against the window. SHIT! If he does hurt me or beat me over the head with a crow bar, no one will hear me or see me! So I moved the heavy (HEAVY) mattress to the other side… it was a smart move! I also hid my laptop in the closet that was behind the bed.
His wife calls me and can’t speak English at all. I begin to think horrible racist thoughts that I don’t want to publish on here…but they weren’t nice. I walk outside to greet them and they are driving some 100 year old 2 door car with the mattress I’m buying STRAPPED TO THE TOP OF THE CAR!! I thought “Delivery provided for a small fee” meant “I have a truck”. Nope. Then he asks me to show him my apartment BEFORE he starts loading the mattress off the top of the car. I knew he was scanning his territory and making a plan of action! What if he slams the door and locks me in the closet while he unloads all of my valuables? So I left the door open the ENTIRE time they were there!
Then I realized that I was making him more nervous that he was making me. (Surprisingly I cooled down) He was DRIPPING sweat, like he had just dumped a glass of water on his head… And he was a larger man, and kept throwing himself onto the floor when he needed to screw something it. It was making me feel uncomfortable because he was being so awkward. He began trying to “sell” me on the bed. As if I was going to say “NO! I hate it! Take it apart and put my old bed back together”. That is so not something I would do!
The, as he would spread his arms apart to showcase the bed…”Mam does this look ok to you?”
“NO! Change the way it looks!”
Me, trying to make conversation - “Do you remember where you bought the bed?” Because it looked like something I saw at Ikea, I was trying to make conversation!
Toothless woman in thick Hispanic accent - “um…No. I don’t remembemeber. But it’s in its original form. We didn’t paint it or northing. We didn’t gloss it. It’s in its original form” That was a shortened version of her 5 minute convincing that it was in its original form. I was convinced!
I gave them the money, they left and I had to clear my whole apartment and bed because they were some funky ass people!
The new bed

The new guest bed behind the couch because that is the only place we can put it!

















